Sunday, October 4, 2015

dance again.


Recently something has come to light that, lets say, rocked my very carefully built foundation.  All the progress I'd recently made was crushed, and I was sent back.  Back to the pain, back to the doubt, back to the unknown. Shock, hurt, betrayal...these words can't even come close to grasping how I felt and still do feel.  But there's a difference now in the present from the past, that man, right there in these photos.

Without going into details, lets just say he's my rock.  He's put up with so much emotional upheaval from me.  He's the most patient loving man I've ever met.  Not to be confused with a pushover.  I did have to convince him violence never solved anything.  I get it though.  He loves me, I still can't figure out why, and somebody hurt me, so he wants to hurt them.  

But he gets me.  He understands that I don't work that way, that I don't just forget them and move on. I try to remember my mistakes (not always easy), but I tend to forgive people, a lot.  The sucky part of an SL relationship is the helplessness you feel when stuff happens.  He wanted to help so much, but honestly, had to just sit back and let me process it.  He did what I needed him to do, he was there for me.  So after a day of processing, lashing out at everyone, crying on and off, and just plain going nuts, I woke this morning with a clearer head and at least a tiny bit of perspective on the situation.

I wasn't going to share any of this, but then a song came on that reminded me of when I first started dating Andre that I had dedicated to him....Dance Again by J-Lo.  It made me smile and gave me good warm feelings.  So as I go forward, all I can do is hope that I don't' continue doubting myself overly too much again, and/or the people around me.  I love you Andre.





"Dance Again"
(feat. Pitbull)


Dance, yes (RedOne)
Love, next
Dance, yes (J.Lo)
Love, next

[Pitbull:]
Shimmy Shimmy yah, Shimmer yam
Shimmer yay
I'm a ol' dirty dog all day
No way Jose
Your girl only go one way, ay mi madre
You should check that out
Maybe you ain't turn her out
Maybe it's none of my business
But for now work it out
Let's get this, dale

[J.Lo.:]
Nobody knows what I'm feeling inside
I find it so stupid
So why should I hide
That I love to make love to you baby
(yeah make love to me)
So many ways wanna touch you tonight
I'm a big girl got no secrets this time
Yeah I love to make love to you baby
(yeah make love to me)

If this would be a perfect world
We'd be together then
(let's do it do it do it)
Only got just one life this I've learned
Who cares what they're gonna say
(let's do it do it do it)

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again
I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

Dance, yes
Love, next
Dance, yes
Love, next

Baby your fire is lighting me up
The way that you move boy is reason enough
That I love to make love to you baby
(yeah make love to me)
I can't behave
Oh I want you so much
Your lips taste like heaven
So why should I stop?
Yeah I love to make love to you baby
(yeah make love to me)

If this would be a perfect world
We'd be together then
(let's do it do it do it)
Only got just one life this I've learned
Who cares what they're gonna say
(let's do it do it do it)

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again
I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

(Let's do it loud, and make it last)
('cause baby, nothing should matter tonight)
(Let's do it loud, and make it last)
('cause baby, nothing should matter tonight)

Mr Worldwide, and the world's most beautiful woman
Modern day Hugh Hef [Hugh Hefner] (uh, yes)
Playboy to the death (uh, yes)
Is he really worldwide? (uh, yes)
Mami let me open your treasure chest
Play dates, we play mates
I'm the king snatching queens, checkmate
What you think?
It's a rumor
I'm really out of this world
Moon, luna
Make woman comfortable
Call me bloomer
Can't even show love cause they'll sue ya
But I told them, 'hallelujah, have a blessed day'
So ahead of myself
Everyday's yesterday
Want the recipe? it's real simple
Little bit of Voli [Voli Vodka], and she'll open sesame

Now dance yes (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Love next (Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Dance yes (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Love next (Oh oh oh oh oh)

If this would be a perfect world
We'd be together then
(let's do it do it do it)
Only got just one life this I've learned
Who cares what they're gonna say
(let's do it do it do it)

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again
I wanna dance, and love, and dance again.

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