the pain is all consuming. craving that closeness, that protection that is suddenly gone.
my mind and heart are at war with each other.
self-destruction, it whispers, is what you deserve. pain is what you will only receive now.
till a slap to the face, wakens me briefly from the drowning abyss.
the need to learn, the need to get lost, but who can i talk to when the confusion becomes too much?
I'm still a little lost girl, the only difference now is that I willingly feed myself to the wolves.
being hit into submission, no longer cherished, is this what i deserve? is this what this lifestyle has to offer me?
i can still hear you in my head, 'no, you deserve so much more, no one has the right to treat you like a piece of garbage to be tossed away.'
but, there-in lies the confusion.
i've been thrown away.