Friday, June 26, 2015

bittersweet.


So despite all the mess of my personal life, my gorgeous shop and art gallery are open to the public. After months of preparation and hard work by myself and by Kush, it opened without any fanfare. My fault, but I wasn't up for it. I've had a little distance put between me and that day now, not much mind you, but a little. I've had lots of alone time to reflect on myself, my relationship with Kush, and all the other things SL means to us all.

For reasons beyond our control, Kush and I are no longer together. To say this is heartbreaking would be an understatement. I still strongly believe he is my soul mate and that we are meant to be together, but well, if not in this life, maybe our next. With such an emotional upheaval surrounding me, it's been hard to focus on work of any kind. Every little thing reminds me of him. 

But, practice makes perfect, and believe it or not, I was alive before I met Kush, just doesn't feel like it. I am excited with the progress of my art gallery. Somewhat of a dream of mine since I was a little girl, to be an artist when I grew up and sell my paintings. One of the many reasons I love SL so much. I've finally got a lot of interest from various artists and the sim is full of gorgeous works of art by some of SL's most talented artists. (list below).

Featuring artwork by Sarah Barber | Guest artists include Dante Greyhound, Jewel Appletor, Gitu Aura, and Ini In Inaka.

Part of healing from this sudden shift in my life, is to stay busy. So yes, running a shop and an art gallery weren't enough to keep me busy and distracted. In order to grow as a person, boost my self confidence, get the attention I crave, it seemed only natural to add bar dancer to my resume. Let me tell you, one of the hardest things I've ever done was get on that bar, but I'm so glad I did. It really has help keep me distracted and made me a little more confident. And I actually caught myself having fun. There's no better place full of friendly perverts than Lars Warehouse in SL. Check it out if you're looking for some fun. ALWAYS music and ALWAYS bar dancers. 


And lastly, yes, I had no choice but to make new friends. Part of any relationship, you tend to have mutual friends. Yah, they were all his anyway, but they were mine too at one point...so being alone has been really ... lonely. Let me tell you, I'm a very introverted person. Yes me. I'm really good at acting outgoing in local, but I'm really shy one on one. So it's really hard for me to make friends. I really really have a hard time making friends with females for some reason too. (Side bar: another thing I'm mourning is the loss of my first real girl friend in SL, but Kush needs her more than I). 

So I was surprised that I actually made a really good friend already who has been there for me through this past week of awful tears and melt downs, distracting me and trying to make me laugh. Giving me tours of places I never even knew existed in SL till now. He's been a true rock. Thank you Hank.


And through him, I've met FreeSpirit. She is a truly amazing person and I look forward to getting to know her better. She is the sweetest friendliest person and strikes me as someone who you don't want to mess with. So I've been hanging out with Hank and Free a little bit over on her sim and in her club (Goddess Sanctuary). It's been a week of ups and downs, meltdowns and yes, a little too much drinking. 

Just now I've finished a conversation with Kush. Yes we still talk from time to time. It left me sad but just a tiny bit of hope. We still have each other to lean on, from afar, but we're both still there for each other and I think that's a truly awesome thing. So here's to healing. May it be swift and painless.



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